George Carlin Quotes

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

George Carlin

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

George Carlin

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

George Carlin

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

George Carlin

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

George Carlin

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

George Carlin

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

George Carlin

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

George Carlin

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

George Carlin

Religion is just mind control.

George Carlin

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

George Carlin

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

George Carlin