"Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'"
Rita RudnerTiny Panda Quotes
Quotes by Rita Rudner
21 quotes found
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"My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to."
Rita Rudner"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
Rita Rudner"When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always."
Rita Rudner"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
Rita Rudner"It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
Rita Rudner"I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my parents hired a pony to give rides. And these ponies are never in good health. But this one dropped dead. It just wasn't much fun after that. One kid would sit on him and the rest of us would drag him around."
Rita Rudner"There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better."
Rita Rudner"Stand-up is my favorite thing I've ever done. There's so much independence."
Rita Rudner"Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times."
Rita Rudner"In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk."
Rita Rudner"Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry."
Rita Rudner"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry."
Rita Rudner"To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'"
Rita Rudner"Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid."
Rita Rudner"I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours."
Rita Rudner"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives."
Rita Rudner"I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso."
Rita Rudner"I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose."
Rita Rudner"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
Rita Rudner"We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet."
Rita Rudner