"Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'"
Rita RudnerTiny Panda Quotes
Quotes by Rita Rudner
Rita Rudner, born on September 17, 1953, in Miami, Florida, is a celebrated American stand-up comedian, actress, and author whose unique blend of observational humor and poignant storytelling has left an indelible mark on the world of comedy. With her signature dry wit and charming stage presence, Rudner gained fame in the 1980s and 1990s, becoming a staple in Las Vegas and inspiring countless aspiring comedians. Beyond her comedic talents, she is also a successful author, contributing to her legacy as a multifaceted entertainer.
21 quotes found
"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
Rita Rudner"It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
Rita Rudner
"I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my parents hired a pony to give rides. And these ponies are never in good health. But this one dropped dead. It just wasn't much fun after that. One kid would sit on him and the rest of us would drag him around."
Rita Rudner
"There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better."
Rita Rudner
"Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry."
Rita Rudner
"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry."
Rita Rudner
"Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid."
Rita Rudner
"I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours."
Rita Rudner
"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives."
Rita Rudner"I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso."
Rita Rudner"I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose."
Rita Rudner
"We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet."
Rita Rudner