"Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane."
Ron White"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."
Ron White"The next time you have a thought... let it go."
Ron White"Donald Trump - and I don't dislike Donald one single bit - has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels."
Ron White"The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can't even spell. I don't even have a high school diploma. I'm smart, but you can't prove it on paper."
Ron White"I was talking to a guy who was holding his 18-month-old daughter with the only limb he had left, and he had a smile on his face. I thought, 'I'm not even a 10th of this man.'"
Ron White"I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow."
Ron White"My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy."
Ron White