Quotes by Tommy Cooper

"A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'"

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"I went window shopping today! I bought four windows."

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"Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!"

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