"It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years."
Tom Lehrer"My last public performance for money was in 1967. For free, it was 1972, with the exception of two little one-shot, one-song things. But that's just for friends, out of friendship for the people involved, and also because it was fun."
Tom Lehrer"Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh."
Tom Lehrer"Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize."
Tom Lehrer"One of the things I'm proudest of is, on my record 'That Was the Year that Was' in 1965, I made a joke about spending $20 billion sending some clown to the moon. I was against the manned space program then, and I'm even more against it now, that whole waste of money."
Tom Lehrer