Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."

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"Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there."

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"The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!"

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"A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it."

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"To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving."

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"Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome."

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"Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV."

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