Funny Quotes
Humor is simply a way of making light of things and society as a whole. Humor creates more understanding and acceptance in the eyes of others. When you are able to laugh at yourself, others, and life itself, it allows us to appreciate these special things in the world around us. By laughing at misfortunes or events that happen in our lives, we can take them less seriously and learn from it along with having fun!
528 Quotes Found
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
Ron White
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
Ellen DeGeneres
Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
Laurence J. Peter
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
Abraham Lincoln
It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
Jerry Seinfeld
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
Robert Benchley
We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know.
W. H. Auden
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.
Dave Barry
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
Joan Rivers
I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called Mother and Child Reunion. It's chicken and eggs. And I said, I gotta use that one.
Paul Simon
Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.
Bill Vaughan
My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.
Billy Connolly
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
Winston Churchill
I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
Billy Connolly
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
Terry Pratchett
It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether.
Johnny Vegas
My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?
Margaret Smith
We are supposed to enjoy the good stuff now, while we can, with the people we love. Life has a funny way of teaching us that lesson over and over again.
Sheena Easton
For me personally, I just don't have anything to prove anymore. I know exactly who I am, I know that I'm intelligent and acting dumb or acting like whatever. If that's funny to me because I know it's false then so be it.
Emma Chamberlain
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Robin Williams
Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race.
H. G. Wells
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
Arthur C. Clarke
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
George Bernard Shaw
I'd never been in play long enough for the flowers to die in the dressing room.
Mercedes McCambridge
If you could cross a lion and a monkey, that's what I'd be, because monkeys are funny and lions are strong.
Marlon Wayans
I'd say Jon Stewart has remained funny the entire time. Jon always makes it funny first. And he's just, he's talking about serious things, but in a funny way. Other comedians will talk about serious things in a serious way, and then you don't know what's going on.
Norm MacDonald
Democrats are dumb and Republicans are stupid, but the difference between dumb and stupid is dumb isn't funny. Dumb is when you say something and the whole room goes, 'What did he say?'
Lewis Black
I have Slavic fat pads that make me look like a chipmunk and arched predatory eyebrows. With that, you're not going to get funny. That's why I play so many bad guys.
Liev Schreiber
If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. And if you do have to say it, make it really funny so I can screenshot it and save it for later.
Sabrina Carpenter
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
Elayne Boosler
A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.'
Claude Pepper
As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.
Calvin Trillin
I'm going to marry a Jewish woman because I like the idea of getting up Sunday morning and going to the deli.
Michael J. Fox
I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far.
Billy Connolly
The funny thing about nationalism is that there are two sides to it. Some parts of it are beautiful, but there's an ugly side as well.
Gregory Porter
David Lynch and I almost made a movie together in the late '80s. We had lots of dinners and lunches. He's a very cool, hip guy. This film, let's face it, is like an homage to him, I would imagine he'd find it funny.
Martin Short
Funny and sad are two sides of the same coin. I think that most comedians are able to tap into deep subject matter.
Hasan Minhaj
Fame is a funny thing. I like doing normal things. I like going to fairs. I like going to ball games. I like going to Disney World or a big field on the Fourth of July and having picnics with friends. The problem is you're either worried you're going to be recognized, or you're thankful you're not. It's always there.
Chris Evans
When you reminisce, you don't say, 'Remember that time you got sued by so-and-so?' No, you say, 'Remember when we played here and it was unbelievable, and we went out for that incredible meal and that funny thing happened?' Those are the important moments.
John Petrucci
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
George Bernard Shaw
Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
Tim Allen
Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint.
Don Marquis
There is nothing in the world that I loathe more than group activity, that communal bath where the hairy and slippery mix in a multiplication of mediocrity.
Vladimir Nabokov
I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose.
Arthur Conan Doyle
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Lana Turner
I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.
Mickey Rooney
We need two kinds of acquaintances, one to complain to, while to the others we boast.
Logan Pearsall Smith
There's a rule of writing: if everything is funny, nothing is funny; if everything is sad, nothing is sad. You want that contrast.
J. Michael Straczynski
Most visions of extraterrestrial life are actually steeped in human hubris. The fictional extraterrestrials of 'Star Trek' or a hundred other space operas are less alien than many of my neighbors. And funny, the ones running the place are mostly WASPish men.
Nathan Myhrvold
The two things in the world we all share in this world are laughter and pain. We've all got problems. The levels of those problems vary, but we've all got problems. When you can take things that are painful and make them funny, that's a gift - to you and your audience.
Kevin Hart
Funny is funny. I dare anyone to look at Tim Conway and Harvey Korman doing the dentist sketch, which is more than 40 years old, and not scream with laughter.
Carol Burnett
These guys Steve Harvey and Cedric the Entertainer and Bernie Mac claim they're the Kings of Comedy. They may be funny, but they ain't no kings. That title is reserved for Rudy Ray Moore and Redd Foxx.
Rudy Ray Moore
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house with the conscious design of doing me good, I should run for my life.
Henry David Thoreau
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
Henny Youngman
Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I'm kind of funny about making new friends.
Eminem
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
P. G. Wodehouse
We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.
Milton Berle
Reality is like a doughnut: Everything that is good and funny and juicy is outside the center, which is just emptiness.
Olga Tokarczuk
Only bad golfers are lucky. They're the ones bouncing balls off trees, curbs, turtles and cars. Good golfers have bad luck. When you hit the ball straight, a funny bounce is bound to be unlucky.
Lee Trevino
In my circle of friends, I've always been loud and funny and talkative. But as soon as I step out of that circle, I get very quiet and introspective. I don't want the spotlight on me.
Rosie Perez
Why does everyone think the future is space helmets, silver foil, and talking like computers, like a bad episode of Star Trek?
Tracey Ullman
It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.
W. Somerset Maugham
Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.
Norm MacDonald
Censorship no longer works by hiding information from you; censorship works by flooding you with immense amounts of misinformation, of irrelevant information, of funny cat videos, until you're just unable to focus.
Yuval Noah Harari
Animals are sentient, intelligent, perceptive, funny and entertaining. We owe them a duty of care as we do to children.
Michael Morpurgo
Sometimes I'm really funny, sometimes I'm quiet, sometimes I'm shy, but I'm constantly changing.
Elle King
The funny thing about having all this so-called success is that behind it is a certain horrible emptiness.
Sam Shepard
You know, fame is a funny thing, man, especially, you know, actors, musicians, rappers, rock singers, it's kind of a lifestyle and it's easy to get caught up in it - you go to bars, you go to clubs, everyone's doing a certain thing... It's tough.
Eminem
They did that little thing on South Park, and they mentioned my name and had a character of me judging a Halloween contest. It was really funny. That made me the coolest aunt on earth.
Tina Yothers
Sometimes I'll put on a Zig Ziglar tape: he's a motivational speaker who is really funny and really American. I know I should do the things he says, but I'm too cynical.
Laila Rouass
Looking the way I look, whenever anybody's looking for a light brown funny guy, I get the call... I'm 100 percent Greek, but I look like I could be Indian or Middle Eastern or Hispanic. If it's ethnic, they'll try and put me in it.
Jason Mantzoukas
I've never met a funny person who wasn't smart. I've met a lot of dramatic people who were stupid. But I've never met a funny person who wasn't smart.
Rob Lowe
It's so different when you change your hair color, you're treated so differently. It's a very funny experience. It's fun - I love changing up my hair.
Kate Bosworth
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.
Theodore Roosevelt
Have enough sense to know, ahead of time, when your skills will not extend to wallpapering.
Marilyn vos Savant
Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honored by posterity because he was the last to discover America.
James Joyce
One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody's listening.
Franklin P. Jones
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'
Isaac Asimov
That's the funny thing about time. It is only in looking back that it's easy to connect the dots. To see exactly why everything needed to happen the way that it did.
Rebecca Serle
There's only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. People treat you differently if you can make them laugh.
Jeff Garlin
People think it's funny that I enjoy dreaming so much. I just use it as a form of entertainment. It's very private. I don't see my dreams as separate. I mean, half the time I'm wandering around dreaming anyway.
Robert Smith
In person, my father is so friendly, so considerate, so funny, and so real. I have admired my father all of my life, and I love him with all my heart.
Tiffany Trump
It sounds funny, but my biggest fear is that I'm not perfect. I'm a perfectionist, and I get upset when things go wrong or when I don't do well.
Nick Jonas
The human brain is a funny thing: it's very susceptible to tempo and melody. You put the right words to it, and it becomes very influential.
Ray Stevens
Richard Pryor introduced me to the world of the inner city, and the urban world, and did it hysterically. My favorite comedian, even though we work 180 degrees differently, but funny is funny is funny.
Bob Newhart
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Phyllis Diller
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
George Carlin
Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.
Jerry Lewis
Say what you will about the ten commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.
H. L. Mencken
I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.
Paula Poundstone
Being funny is my biggest differentiator, and I think I'd be a fool not to use that, and there's nothing I enjoy personally more than making a human being laugh. But then, I also think I have a serious side to me.
Lil Dicky
Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know.
Andre Maurois
I had gotten to a place where I truly believed everything I was called: 'not sexy,' 'not funny,' 'too intense,' desperate.' All those labels they gave me, I took them because there wasn't a trace of my true self left.
Naomi Watts
Everyone has at least one story, and each of us is funny if we admit it. You have to admit you're the funniest person you've ever heard of.
Maya Angelou
I was just a goofy little funny kid, who was always getting sent to the principal. It wasn't serious because I was smart. I wasn't like a true troublemaker, just rambunctious - like, talkative and trying to be funny. That was me in middle-school.
J. Cole
It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to.
J. D. Salinger
Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down, and when they're having a good time, I can carry on the joke.
John Krasinski
Comedy is a tool of togetherness. It's a way of putting your arm around someone, pointing at something, and saying, 'Isn't it funny that we do that?' It's a way of reaching out.
Kate McKinnon
That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.
Joe Rogan
It is to be observed that 'angling' is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish.
Stephen Leacock
One of the funny things about the stock market is that every time one person buys, another sells, and both think they are astute.
William Feather
Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny. Next. Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.
Joan Rivers
I trust God's timing. I'm a very spiritual person, and a lot of times, we want things on our time, and we come up with our own plans of what we want to do with our lives, but God be like, 'Haha, you're funny. That's cute. Anyways, this is what you're going to do,' and I've learned to just sit back.
LeToya Luckett
There's a deep underlying unpredictability to life that is thrilling. In China, my wife would say you go out to buy toilet paper, and you come back, and something interesting or revealing or funny happened on the way.
Evan Osnos
I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times.
Jackie Mason
I remember watching Margaret Cho with my grandmother on TV. She was my hero, not only because she was funny, but because she showed me that it's okay to be yourself, that it's okay to be a brash yellow girl and to be a strong and brave woman.
Awkwafina
I have been working as an actor for 16-17 years now. The funny thing is I still feel awkward in communicating with the public as a star. It hasn't been long since my drama 'Goblin' ended, and I'm looking forward for some time to rest.
Gong Yoo
Turns out you have a really fun time if you go to work every day and focus on being silly and funny and happy!
Hannah Murray
Ignoring fame was my rebellion, in a funny way. I was insistent on being normal and doing normal things. It probably wasn't advisable to go to college in America and room with a complete stranger. And it probably wasn't wise to share a bathroom with eight other people in a coed dorm. Looking back, that was crazy.
Emma Watson
People know me as just this handsome guy - a very handsome guy. But I can also be funny and fun. -Choi Si
won
I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.
Elayne Boosler
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
Jay Leno
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
Jane Wagner
Screaming at children over their grades, especially to the point of the child's tears, is child abuse, pure and simple. It's not funny and it's not good parenting. It is a crushing, scarring, disastrous experience for the child. It isn't the least bit funny.
Ben Stein
People ask 'do you make a conscious effort not to swear?' - if you're doing silly stuff you're not tempted to put swearing in. All the comics from my childhood, who were funny without swearing, were the people that influenced me. What I do is quite traditional anyway.
Tim Vine
Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else's feelings.
Ellen DeGeneres
It's funny, I had dinner with my dear friend John Spencer last night and I'm not in the first episode, but he's at the beginning of it and he was telling me about it and I thought this sounds very hot because I think this is definitely the last year of West Wing.
Stockard Channing
It's funny - almost every comedian that I started out with moved to L.A., except for my two friends Hannibal Buress and Amy Schumer. And my two friends that are doing the best in comedy, the most successful friends I have, are Hannibal Buress and Amy Schumer.
Eric Andre
If you're funny, if there's something that makes you laugh, then every day's going to be okay.
Tom Hanks
Design is a funny word. Some people think design means how it looks. But of course, if you dig deeper, it's really how it works.
Steve Jobs
'Crash' came from personal experience. I saw things inside me from living in L.A. that made me uncomfortable. I saw horrible things in people and saw terrible things in myself. I saw a black director completely humiliated, but the three people around me just thought it was funny. 'No,' I said, 'that is selling your soul.'
Paul Haggis
Sometimes I can't believe I'm going to be 60. I always say there's no point moaning about getting older, when there's nothing you can do about it. But still, I do find it quite funny. I look at that number, 60, and I think, 'Really? Me?'
Twiggy
Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the top.
Edward Abbey
If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
Johnny Carson
Part of my act is meant to shake you up. It looks like I'm being funny, but I'm reminding you of other things. Life is tough, darling. Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything; otherwise, we're going down the tube.
Joan Rivers
If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?
Laurence J. Peter
Often, joking for me is a way of diffusing the awkwardness of a situation, so it's kind of exhilarating to be a part of projects where there's nothing funny or lighthearted.
Emma Stone
I can't stress to you enough how much I can relate to teens being cyberbullied. Something that helps me is looking at old videos of me and my friends from middle school, or videos of my family. I love watching funny videos of my favorite people - it really cheers me up.
Ariana Grande
What's so funny about cats is that they have this kind of aloof, superior vibe to them. Even if you love them, they are unpredictable. Dogs are more social, and the way that they attach and bond to us is much more human.
Ze Frank
I was fired from an NBC sitcom called 'Friends With Benefits.' I was wrong for the part from the beginning, didn't even want to audition, and kept thinking, 'This isn't funny at all.'
Patrick J. Adams
We owe to the Middle Ages the two worst inventions of humanity - romantic love and gunpowder.
Andre Maurois
Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.
Bill Hicks
Keep your sense of humor, my friend; if you don't have a sense of humor it just isn't funny anymore.
Wavy Gravy
Be stupid, be dumb, be funny, if that's who you are. Don't try to be someone that society wants you to be; that's stupid. So be yourself.
Christina Grimmie
Funny enough, if you are looking at people these days who are putting Botox in their face and getting all sorts of plastic surgery, we look at them and go, I can tell you've had Botox. I can tell you've had plastic surgery. You look really strange to me. But no one's saying anything. We're just accepting the fact that they're strange-looking.
Guy Pearce
Careers are funny things. They begin mysteriously and, just as mysteriously, they can end; and I am at just the very beginning of what I hope will be a long and satisfying life in the theater. But, whatever happens, I am grateful to have had my novice work received so well, and so quickly.
Edward Albee
It's funny about men and women. Men pay in cash to get them and pay in cash to get rid of them. Women pay emotionally coming and going. Neither has it easy.
Hedy Lamarr
I think I was the only person in my experimental film class doing comedy. But my sense of humor and a lot of comedy that I love is quite surreal and strange, you know? You could argue that 'Monty Python' is experimental film. It just happens to be really funny.
Andy Samberg
I don't say things to be offensive; I say things because they're funny to me. It amuses me.
Marilyn Manson
Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
Alan King
I'd love to become like Bill Murray, who was so funny on 'Saturday Night Live' and has gone on to do some of the landmark comedies people like. And then to add this whole other phase to his career with 'Lost in Translation' and 'Rushmore.' I always felt to be able to have something similar to that would be great.
Will Ferrell
Confidence is a funny thing, and sometimes that's all you need is just that little bit to elevate you to the next level.
DeAndre Yedlin
Maori get pigeonholed into the idea they're spiritual and telling stories like 'Whale Rider' and 'Once Were Warriors,' quite serious stuff, but we're pretty funny people, and we never really have had an opportunity to show that side of ourselves, the clumsy, nerdy side of ourselves, which is something I am.
Taika Waititi
I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.
Will Rogers
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
Jimmy Durante
My mother was against me being an actress - until I introduced her to Frank Sinatra.
Angie Dickinson
I'm an off-road racecar driver. And I think every woman in my life has told me that's not a sensible hobby. But when I was growing, even more than I wanted to be funny, I wanted to be a racecar driver. That's all I thought about. I worked for a race team when I was 15 and I traveled with them.
Dax Shepard
When I was in high school, there was 'Superbad' and 'The Girl Next Door' and 'Wedding Crashers' and all these great movies. You hope to be a part of something that's smart, funny and in that Todd Phillips-vein. You want to make something like 'Superbad.' That movie was so good and so funny.
Miles Teller
There is a saying that if you get something for free, you should know that you're the product. It was never more true than in the case of Facebook and Gmail and YouTube. You get free social-media services, and you get free funny cat videos. In exchange, you give up the most valuable asset you have, which is your personal data.
Yuval Noah Harari
I believe in choosing your words very carefully. It's funny: I'll get comments like, 'Oh I love you. You don't care; you have no filter.' On the contrary, I absolutely have a filter, because I understand decorum, and my objective is not to upset people.
Iliza Shlesinger
The day I made that statement, about the inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the Camcorder.
Al Gore
I had the classic 40 meltdown. I did. It's embarrassing. It was pretty funny. But then I recovered. To me, it was like a second adolescence. Hormonally, my body was changing, my mind was changing, and so my relationship to myself and the world around me came to this assault of finiteness.
Keanu Reeves
I thought comedians were the funny guy in the common room, not understanding that the flaws in my personality were actually the funny things about me.
James Acaster
What bothers most critics of my work is the goofiness. One reviewer said I need to make up my mind if want to be funny or serious. My response is that I will make up my mind when God does, because life is a commingling of the sacred and the profane, good and evil. To try and separate them is fallacy.
Tom Robbins
You're unlikely to discover something new without a lot of practice on old stuff, but further, you should get a heck of a lot of fun out of working out funny relations and interesting things.
Richard P. Feynman
I don't follow anything blindly. I have to know the entire thing, if I have to get in to it. It might sound funny to you, but it's like using English language. I use an English word only when I know its meaning and understand its connotation. You won't hear me say, 'What's up, dude' or anything like that just for the heck of it.
Kailash Kher
I basically started performing for my mother, going, 'Love me!' What drives you to perform is the need for that primal connection. When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person.
Robin Williams
I grew up a really shy kid, but I always surrounded myself with a lot funny people. It depends on the day - if I feel like being quiet, I will be. I'm not a complete goofball, though.
Manny Montana
I wasn't the class clown. I wasn't that obvious. There would be a circle of guys, and they're watching the class clown. And I'm standing in the back, and I turn to the guy next to me and I say something funny to him, and he starts to laugh. And the guy next to him says, 'What did he say?'
Bob Newhart
In general, the straight line of a joke sets up a premise, an expectation. Then the funny ending - the punch line - in a sense contradicts the original assumption by refusing to follow what had seemed a reasonable train of thought. Many jokes involve that simple matter of leaping outside what had appeared to be the rules of the game at the moment.
Steve Allen
Everyone tells me I have a funny accent. It's because I copy people. I learned English at school but have best friends who are French, Australian, English and American; a very weird mix.
Caroline Winberg
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
Phyllis Diller
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
Albert Einstein
A good actor is someone who knows how to take the part and make it real and make it honest and be effective in it. If it's in a funny movie and, as long as they are cast in an appropriate way, humor will come from it.
Ivan Reitman
There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.
Jean Baudrillard
No matter what I do, I can't help but feel that I'm under a microscope. Some of it is completely silly, and some of it is meant to be hurtful. For example, a website accumulated all of my music videos to point out perceived Illuminati images. I loved that one. Of course, it was all ridiculous but funny.
Steve Aoki
There's a lot of stupid men out there who feel like makeup is a betrayal of the truth, and that is so funny to me.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I buy so much fake jewelry, it's funny. It's not real. I don't wear real diamonds or anything.
Kate Spade
Comedy is so subjective. You could be in a room with 400 people laughing at a joke and you could just not think it's funny. You're just sitting there like, 'Am I in the twilight zone? Why is everyone laughing?' It's such a personal thing. People have such a personal visceral response to comedy.
Todd Phillips
I wake up every day and look at my own ugly mug in the mirror and don't think twice about it. The fact that other people might want to look at me still feels funny. It's flattering, but funny.
Luke Bracey
Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.
P. G. Wodehouse
You are not just a funny person or just a journalist. Most people are hybrids of having a smart opinion and a great sense of humor.
Katie Nolan
It's funny, because even though on a drama like 'Picket Fences' those long monologues would stress me out, doing special effects where there's a green screen and there's nobody there to to react to and you have to recite all this dialogue, it's so much more difficult.
Holly Marie Combs
I don't want to sound hoity-toity, but people told me I should watch 'Cheers' because it's very funny. So I watched it, and I just went, 'This is the great show of the universe?' To me, acting is making characters believable, not just doing jokes.
Teri Garr
With comedy, don't try to be funny. That's really helped me. Just say the lines as you would say them, interact with other characters, and try to make it as real as possible. It will come out funny.
Ariel Winter
It's funny, I often think about how, if we were all placed in an apocalyptic situation, you'd realize quickly how stupid, petty things just don't matter anymore. Who you love is who you love, and it doesn't matter. -Alycia Debnam
Carey
You win a race, the next race it's a question mark. Are you still the best or not? That's what is funny. But that's what is interesting. And that's what is challenging. You have to prove yourself every time.
Michael Schumacher
There are a lot of funny people and a lot of unfunny people. Some of them are women and some of them are dudes.
Lake Bell
Anne Wiazemsky wrote two books about her life with Jean-Luc Godard between 1966 and 1969. And I first read the second one, which is about the fall of their love story and their marriage. I immediately thought there was a movie to make with this book because it was so funny, and I thought the love story was very, very touching.
Michel Hazanavicius
There's a difference between being a comic and a comedian. A comic is a guy who says funny things, and a comedian is a guy who says things funny, and he has a style and point of view that will last much longer.
Milton Berle
I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.'
Demetri Martin
Someone told me that when they go to Vermont, they feel like they're home. I'm that way at Saks.
Caroline Rhea
Things that I feel really sad about, I talk about. That way, if it's funny, it doesn't hurt anymore.
Pete Davidson
Being a funny person does an awful lot of things to you. You feel that you mustn't get serious with people. They don't expect it from you, and they don't want to see it. You're not entitled to be serious, you're a clown.
Fanny Brice
When Jonathan Winters died, it was like, 'Oh, man!' I knew he was frail, but I always thought he was going to last longer. I knew him as being really funny, but at the same time, he had a dark side.
Robin Williams
I think God has a sense of humor, and the way my lessons come from God is very funny. I have to laugh at myself even if it's a tough lesson.
Yvette Nicole Brown