Quotes about Shower Thoughts

"The average adult probably has hundreds of thousands of lyrics memorized but they won't realize they have it memorized until the song starts playing, even decades later."

"The more you lose at the knife game the easier it gets"

"Since molecules always vibrate, vibrators always vibrate, even when turned off"

"Jedi's can probably sense when other Jedi's orgasm, and it's probably annoying."

"It’s kinda crazy that Steve Jobs died 10 iPhones ago -/u/Unwanted"

"Given the amount of droids rolling around, the Star Wars universe is almost 100% wheel chair accessible."

"Humans will probably always hold the record for having sex the furthest from the ground."

"With the right amount of anxiety, all pleasures are guilty pleasures."

"Your mouth can get used to spicy food much better than your ass can"

"You're officially grown up when your parents stop checking on you and you start checking up on your parents."

"The creator of ziplock bags has contributed more to the drug trade than we give them credit for"

"Someone who gets flown off by a superhero must have their ears pop terribly during the ascent."

"The number one sign of recovery from a cold is the ability to masturbate again."

"Mario Kart has encouraged kids to litter banana peels for decades, and no one has ever said anything."

"The Titanic sinking was an act of divine intervention according to the Crayfish in the kitchen"

"One day you will have your last bite of pizza."

"We just assumed dying in your sleep was peaceful"

"Dwarves use axes because elves live in trees"

"When looking for the purpose of existence, consider petting your dog. -/u/David"

"Ribs are pork on the cob."

"One of the hardest things in life is putting the exact amount of syrup needed onto a stack of pancakes"

"A morning coffee habit is as much about waking your colon as it's about waking your brain."

"There's a big difference between being sorry you did something, and being sorry that you got caught."

"Friends were once strangers you decided you liked more than other strangers so you kept them around."

"One day one of you will be known as the last villager who can still read and write the dead language of cursive -/u/Doc-in-a"

"Excessive use of social media, video games, pornography, drugs, drinking, and even procrastination, are unconscious attempts to mitigate the stress response of unresolved problems one feels incapable of solving easily."

"Dr Strange’s magic flying cape is dragging him through the air by his neck."

"Scented garbage bags just make your kitchen smell like flowers and garbage."

"Boyfriends are temporary, ex-boyfriends are forever"

"We can go back to having Soviets as the bad guys instead of generic middle easterners in action movies again."

"The most successful serial killer alive has probably not been caught."

"There is not a single thing in the world that everyone can agree on. Someone will disagree, just out of principle."

"Anything flying is a UFO if you're not wearing your glasses or contacts"

"Children's movies are ranked based on reviews by adults."