Shower Thoughts Quotes
99 Quotes Found
The average adult probably has hundreds of thousands of lyrics memorized but they won't realize they have it memorized until the song starts playing, even decades later.
/u/twotall88 (Reddit User)
Since molecules always vibrate, vibrators always vibrate, even when turned off
/u/Fish_Boi6 (Reddit User)
Jedi's can probably sense when other Jedi's orgasm, and it's probably annoying.
/u/berrylakin (Reddit User)
Superheroes only wear capes to show that they're flying in pictures, otherwise they're just a hazard. Edna was right.
/u/lemonwater101 (Reddit User)
Given the amount of droids rolling around, the Star Wars universe is almost 100% wheel chair accessible.
/u/andromoda (Reddit User)
The egg came first. Then chicken. A genetic mutation caused a new member of a species egg that grew into the chicken.
/u/Virtual_Elephant_730 (Reddit User)
Humans will probably always hold the record for having sex the furthest from the ground.
/u/Electrofreak0 (Reddit User)
Your mouth can get used to spicy food much better than your ass can
/u/xiaolongbaochikkawow (Reddit User)
You're officially grown up when your parents stop checking on you and you start checking up on your parents.
/u/zaqwert6 (Reddit User)
It's impossible to know everything because the human brain has a max capacity of 2.5 Petabytes, not infinite!
/u/CorodanDenis2 (Reddit User)
The creator of ziplock bags has contributed more to the drug trade than we give them credit for
/u/PartyShiba (Reddit User)
Someone who gets flown off by a superhero must have their ears pop terribly during the ascent.
/u/ThunderHam11 (Reddit User)
Premature ejaculation is an example where an evolutionary advantage becomes an undesired trait
/u/kkaya39 (Reddit User)
The number one sign of recovery from a cold is the ability to masturbate again.
/u/OrneryLibrarian (Reddit User)
Mario Kart has encouraged kids to litter banana peels for decades, and no one has ever said anything.
/u/wimpykidfan37 (Reddit User)
In a world where superheroes exist, you’ll be stupid not to take a construction related profession.
/u/Dmdnje (Reddit User)
The Titanic sinking was an act of divine intervention according to the Crayfish in the kitchen
/u/mrjaxson1111 (Reddit User)
People don't like Fridays because of Fridays. They like Fridays because of Saturdays.
/u/Mimicrystal12 (Reddit User)
Let someone put your ashes after dying in an hourglass and you’ll finally have the body of your dreams
/u/madamtiddies (Reddit User)
When you wear comfortable clothes you don't feel them but you always feel uncomfortable clothing.
/u/CuddlyNancy (Reddit User)
One of the hardest things in life is putting the exact amount of syrup needed onto a stack of pancakes
/u/kevcarp96 (Reddit User)
A morning coffee habit is as much about waking your colon as it's about waking your brain.
/u/wfezzari (Reddit User)
Saying relationships are the key to happiness is about as useful and as vague as saying buying things is the key to happiness.
/u/soul367 (Reddit User)
There's a big difference between being sorry you did something, and being sorry that you got caught.
/u/sofascientist (Reddit User)
Friends were once strangers you decided you liked more than other strangers so you kept them around.
/u/Wizlect (Reddit User)
The more tattoos you get, the less tasty and appealing you become to cannibals
/u/YourPureSexcellence (Reddit User)
One day one of you will be known as the last villager who can still read and write the dead language of cursive -/u/Doc-in-a
box (Reddit User)
Excessive use of social media, video games, pornography, drugs, drinking, and even procrastination, are unconscious attempts to mitigate the stress response of unresolved problems one feels incapable of solving easily.
/u/Mr_Otingocni (Reddit User)
There are marine animals that never see the surface or the sea floor. To them, there is only infinite ocean.
/u/nanana_catdad (Reddit User)
Dr Strange’s magic flying cape is dragging him through the air by his neck.
/u/Red5Leader (Reddit User)
Scented garbage bags just make your kitchen smell like flowers and garbage.
/u/TeachMeTheWayz (Reddit User)
We can go back to having Soviets as the bad guys instead of generic middle easterners in action movies again.
/u/superdownvotemaster (Reddit User)
Piglatin is an effective way to hide a conversation from a deaf person who can only read lips.
/u/ruzeohelina (Reddit User)
There is not a single thing in the world that everyone can agree on. Someone will disagree, just out of principle.
/u/pump_kin1 (Reddit User)
Starbucks is considered a more prestigious place to work than McDonald’s, but McDonald’s pays more.
/u/etrbri (Reddit User)
The reason people like detective stories set in the late 1800s - early 1900s is because the detectives can’t just use fingerprints or cameras or CCTVs. They have to rely purely on their intelligence.
/u/SwimUnable0001 (Reddit User)
Much of our self-dissatisfaction is caused when we internalize other people’s success as our own failures.
/u/CopsaLau (Reddit User)
Theres no superior and inferior races but there are superior and inferior individuals.
/u/wilhelmtherealm (Reddit User)
Only at a vending machine is it bad news that every bill in your wallet is a 20.
/u/ultimatefribble (Reddit User)
You never actually look into other people's eyes, just one eye or in between.
/u/And_who_would_you_be (Reddit User)
For a large part of the population breakfast ends at 10:30 AM because McDonald's said so
/u/CryoClone (Reddit User)
Veterinarians do most of their euthanasia for quality of life issues. Humans are only euthanized by the state for behavioral issues. -/u/Ok
Abies8079 (Reddit User)
The plural of snowflake is either snowflakes or snow, depending on how many there are.
/u/haddock420 (Reddit User)
We've been so busy talking about changing all the planks on the ship that we forgot the crew and captain remain the same.
/u/Galexio (Reddit User)
Steam must think there is an enormous amount of people whose birthday is January 1st.
/u/LilNeez (Reddit User)
It's interesting that a food with over 700 mg of sodium per serving can still advertise itself as having no preservatives, even though salt has been used as a preservative for thousands of years.
/u/JustDubbinAround (Reddit User)
Death sentence is technically life sentence, and life sentence is technically death sentence.
/u/MysteryMystery305 (Reddit User)
Over the next couple decades, parents will talk about their unrestricted access to the internet as kids like parents talk about going out until sundown unsupervised as kids.
/u/starfihgter (Reddit User)
Maybe the reason we can't taste or smell water is that we're already more than half water and we're desensitized to it.
/u/OrsoMalleus (Reddit User)
The emotions from Inside Out probably have emotions inside their heads, and then it just becomes an endless loop of emotions
/u/LucinaWario (Reddit User)
Some people make more miles with their thumbs scrolling through phones than they do walking.
/u/natflowerss (Reddit User)
Some of us have never known the terror of an impending hurricane, tornado, or an active earthquake.
/u/Gameplayedright (Reddit User)
Skulls in the media are portrayed with teeth, but nowadays people tend to die later and mostly with dentures, one can wonder if in the future skulls will be represented without teeth
/u/Garlic_goose (Reddit User)
Depressed people are too talented in understanding their reality
/u/FeistyShoulder6147 (Reddit User)
When you hit the snooze button in the morning, the first thing you do every day is take a nap.
/u/AkumaBengoshi (Reddit User)
Every bottle of water you drank probably contains water from all 5 oceans
/u/AbyssUpdate (Reddit User)
Mosquito bites are tiny reminders that part of our life is passively dedicated to be of benefit to others.
/u/Finneagan (Reddit User)
A thousand brush strokes can create a masterpiece, and only one can destroy it.
/u/between3and20spaces (Reddit User)
Pornstars are eventually gonna die and there will still be people masturbating to them.
/u/illiniguy20 (Reddit User)
It's kind of strange that we evolved alongside a huge ball of light in the sky, but we cant look at it without going blind.
/u/impged (Reddit User)
Humankind isn’t giving itself enough credit that we invented functioning jetpacks
/u/HanSoI0 (Reddit User)
No one really knows what day it is. One person told us, and we believed them for many generations.
/u/TheManCletus (Reddit User)
The fact that google auto completes all of our questions is a reminder of how unoriginal all our problems are
/u/taz_7_24_93 (Reddit User)