"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
Mark TwainTiny Panda Quotes
Quotes by Mark Twain
Samuel Langhorne Clemens, known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer, humorist, essayist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer, born on November 30, 1835, and often referred to as the "greatest humorist the United States has produced" and "the father of American literature" by William Faulkner. His celebrated works include "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer," its sequel "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn," often called the "Great American Novel," "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court," "Pudd'nhead Wilson," and "The Gilded Age: A Tale of Today," co-written with Charles Dudley Warner. Raised in Hannibal, Missouri, which inspired the settings for Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, Twain started his career with an apprenticeship in printing and typesetting, contributing to his brother's newspaper. He then became a Mississippi Riverboat pilot, providing material for "Life on the Mississippi." After a humorous stint in mining in Nevada, he turned to journalism, working for the Virginia City Territorial Enterprise, crafting a literary style marked by humor, social commentary, and sharp observation of American life and culture.
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"Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been."
Mark Twain"Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen."
Mark Twain"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."
Mark Twain"When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear."
Mark Twain"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."
Mark Twain"Necessity is the mother of taking chances."
Mark Twain"When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people."
Mark Twain"A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation."
Mark Twain"It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech."
Mark Twain"Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself."
Mark Twain"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear."
Mark Twain"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare."
Mark Twain"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time."
Mark Twain"The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated."
Mark Twain"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
Mark Twain"Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain."
Mark Twain"A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way."
Mark Twain"I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any."
Mark Twain"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."
Mark Twain"It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them."
Mark Twain"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."
Mark Twain"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please."
Mark Twain"All generalizations are false, including this one."
Mark Twain"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."
Mark Twain"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example."
Mark Twain"I can live for two months on a good compliment."
Mark Twain"We have the best government that money can buy."
Mark Twain"Loyalty to the Nation all the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it."
Mark Twain"Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it."
Mark Twain"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened."
Mark Twain"Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one."
Mark Twain"There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy."
Mark Twain"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
Mark Twain"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."
Mark Twain"Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms."
Mark Twain"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."
Mark Twain"Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven."
Mark Twain"The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven."
Mark Twain"Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever."
Mark Twain"You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."
Mark Twain"I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up."
Mark Twain"Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."
Mark Twain"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."
Mark Twain"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."
Mark Twain"My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it."
Mark Twain"The lack of money is the root of all evil."
Mark Twain"Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it."
Mark Twain"The secret of getting ahead is getting started."
Mark Twain"Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about."
Mark Twain"Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself."
Mark Twain"Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed."
Mark Twain"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
Mark Twain"When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself."
Mark Twain"There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist."
Mark Twain"A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds."
Mark Twain"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure."
Mark Twain"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."
Mark Twain"It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense."
Mark Twain"When in doubt tell the truth."
Mark Twain"Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't."
Mark Twain"Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it."
Mark Twain"Work is a necessary evil to be avoided."
Mark Twain"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
Mark Twain"A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read."
Mark Twain"Don't let schooling interfere with your education."
Mark Twain"Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet."
Mark Twain"The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes."
Mark Twain"If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first."
Mark Twain"In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours."
Mark Twain"Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough."
Mark Twain"It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling."
Mark Twain"Golf is a good walk spoiled."
Mark Twain"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts."
Mark Twain