Lewis Black Quotes

One of the interesting things about comedy is it's tension release, and nothing creates tension faster than anger.

Lewis Black

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

Lewis Black

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

Lewis Black

Democrats are dumb and Republicans are stupid, but the difference between dumb and stupid is dumb isn't funny. Dumb is when you say something and the whole room goes, 'What did he say?'

Lewis Black

Parenting isn't just parenting your own child.

Lewis Black

Republicans have nothing but bad ideas and Democrats have no ideas.

Lewis Black

When people come to my act any time after Thanksgiving, I usually say, You shouldn't be here. You should be shopping. Our economy depends on you! You should be out there buying stuff.'

Lewis Black

A father and two sons run Adelphia. It's a cable company. And they took from that company a billion dollars. A billion. Three people - three people took a billion dollars. What were they gonna do, start their own space program? 'Let's send the monkey to Mars, Dad!'

Lewis Black