"All religions must be made child-proof. Our teachers' unions have done good work in this field, K through 12. Delaying first communions and bar mitzvahs until age 21 would be another positive step."
P. J. O'RourkeTiny Panda Quotes
Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke
P. J. O'Rourke, born on November 14, 1947, in Toledo, Ohio, was a celebrated American political satirist, journalist, and author known for his sharp wit and keen social commentary. A graduate of Miami University, O'Rourke's writing journey began at the National Lampoon, where his humor shone through the absurdity of political and cultural life. Throughout his career, he authored numerous books, including "Parliament of Whores," which critique the American political landscape with humor and insight, leaving an indelible mark on political satire and journalism.
19 quotes found
"People are always angry at America. They're absolutely certain that America either caused their problems or is deliberately not fixing their problems. But the anger is always directed at America and never at Americans."
P. J. O'Rourke"In Israel, waves of anger and fear circulate all the time, but so do jokes and gossip and silky evening breezes. So, too, in America."
P. J. O'Rourke"Abstract anger is great for rhetorical carrying on. You can go on endlessly about the post office, but it doesn't mean you're mad at your mailman."
P. J. O'Rourke
"There is a simple rule here, a rule of legislation, a rule of business, a rule of life: beyond a certain point, complexity is fraud. You can apply that rule to left-wing social programs, but you can also apply that rule to credit derivatives, hedge funds, all the rest of it."
P. J. O'Rourke"I come from Toledo, Ohio, a town that has been hurt badly by the shift of the automobile business towards Japan. And yet I remember how the car workers lived in the neighborhood that I grew up in. My father was a car salesman, and I remember how we lived. I remember how modestly we lived."
P. J. O'Rourke
"Computers seem a little too adaptively flexible, like the strange natives, odd societies, and head cases we study in the social sciences. There's more opposable thumb in the digital world than I care for; it's awfully close to human."
P. J. O'Rourke
"Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it."
P. J. O'Rourke"Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective."
P. J. O'Rourke
"In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character."
P. J. O'Rourke
"If death weren't around to 'finalize' the Darwinian process, we'd all still be amoebas."
P. J. O'Rourke"I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning."
P. J. O'Rourke"Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys."
P. J. O'Rourke"If you ask the government to solve all of your problems, it's a bit like asking your wife to cook and clean, to raise the children, to hold down a second job to help with the family finances, to keep her parents happy and well and keep your parents happy and well, and to also - to do the lawn and clean the gutters."
P. J. O'Rourke
"Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there."
P. J. O'Rourke"The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it."
P. J. O'Rourke"There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as 'caring' and 'sensitive' because he wants to expand the government's charitable programs is merely saying that he's willing to try to do good with other people's money."
P. J. O'Rourke