Quotes by Will Rogers

"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock."

"If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable."

"An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's."

"The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets."

"Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment."

"Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for."

"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."

"On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does."

"Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln."

"There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail."

"A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people."

"We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can."

"There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves."

"A fool and his money are soon elected."

"Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like."

"Politics is applesauce."

"Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated."

"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there."

"You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is."

"Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects."

"America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few."

"We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others."

"Make crime pay. Become a lawyer."

"People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide."

"The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?'"

"There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education."

"I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago."

"The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself."